Will this school give your child the support they need?

Start with your child, not a list of diagnoses

Write a short description of what goes well and where the day becomes difficult. Your child might love discussing books but struggle to get ideas onto paper. They might manage lessons comfortably and find lunch exhausting. Two children with the same diagnosis can need very different things from a school.

Bring examples from the current setting: a task they can do independently, a situation where help is needed, and an adjustment that has made a difference. Ask the current teacher or learning-support coordinator to help you describe the usual routine. This is more useful than trying to sound like a specialist yourself.

Include your child’s view. “I don’t like being taken out of art” or “I can ask that teacher, but not everyone” may reveal a problem that grades do not show. Depending on their age, they might join part of the meeting, write a few questions or talk to you afterwards.

This guide focuses on choosing independent schools in England. It is not a diagnosis or a guide to securing an Education, Health and Care Plan, usually called an EHCP. If a plan or local-authority funding is involved, establish the placement and funding position with those responsible before committing to fees.

Getting through the assessment is only one conversation

Admissions arrangements help a child access a particular assessment. Everyday provision concerns lessons, homework, friendships, movement around the site and the activities that make school enjoyable. You need answers to both, preferably before the application starts to feel like a competition you must win.

For example, ISEB’s 2026–27 guidance treats extra time and other arrangements as distinct requests. Senior schools consider the evidence. A decision for its Pre-Tests does not settle arrangements for another entrance assessment or later GCSEs.

“The online test has been arranged” does not tell you what happens during the rest of the visit. Our Pre-Tests guide covers that provider’s process in more detail.

Turn “support is available” into a school-week plan

Ask the person responsible for learning support to describe a proposed week. Which help happens inside lessons? Is there an individual session or a group? How often, with whom, and for what purpose? If the answer depends on an assessment after joining, record what can be agreed beforehand and what remains undecided.

Find out what happens across subjects. A helpful support teacher cannot personally sit in every classroom. How will subject teachers receive the practical guidance, know when it changes and check that it is being used? Ask who steps in when an arrangement works in English but disappears in science.

At Stockport Grammar, the March 2026 SEND policy describes classroom support, withdrawal and group or individual help. It states that support plans for pupils receiving one-to-one support are formally reviewed at least three times a year. These are useful specifics to discuss, not proof of what any new applicant would receive.

A session during a lesson, lunch or after school has a different cost in time and energy. If lessons are missed, how is the material recovered? If help is at lunchtime, is there still time to eat and see friends? If it is after school, can the child get home?

A fictional comparison: Amira needs help with reading

Imagine Amira enjoys science and discussing stories, but reading unfamiliar text takes effort. Her current teacher says a regular, focused session has helped. Her family is comparing two fictional schools. Neither represents a real school, and this is not a prescribed intervention.

School A proposes a weekly session with a named specialist, explains how classroom teachers will use the same strategies and offers a review after the first half-term. School B says Amira can drop into the support room whenever she needs help, but has not explained how a new pupil would know when to go.

We would currently favour A’s clearer plan for this fictional child—not because weekly help is always better, but because it answers the need her family has described. Before deciding, they should ask whether the session clashes with a valued lesson, whether it is individual or shared, and what happens if the specialist is absent.

B is not necessarily the weaker school. It may have effective classroom teaching that has not yet been explained. The next question is: “If Amira does not ask for help herself, who will notice and what will happen?” Compare the answer, not the warmth of the initial welcome.

Visit the parts of the day that might be hard

A quiet open morning may not tell you much about changeover, lunch or the journey home. Consider stairs, noisy queues, crowded corridors, changing rooms and the distance between lessons—not only the learning-support room.

Latymer Upper’s environment statement explicitly describes a busy, loud site. It says individual adjustments may be possible but the campus cannot reasonably be made sensory-friendly. That candour is useful: an academically appealing school can still require careful thought about the environment.

It is not a verdict on every child with sensory sensitivities. For your child, ask where they could recover, whether they can reach that space when needed and who helps if they cannot explain what is wrong.

For boarding, extend the conversation into evenings and weekends. Who knows the plan in the house? What happens when the familiar adult is off duty?

Another fictional comparison: Theo finds the busy parts exhausting

Theo enjoys challenging lessons but often comes home overwhelmed. One fictional school shows his family a quiet room. Another talks through arrival, lesson changes and lunch, names an adult he can approach, and suggests an agreed way to take a break without explaining himself in front of classmates.

Our preference would be to investigate the whole-day plan first. A room is helpful only if Theo can use it when he needs it, with enough support to return to the day. The family should ask what happens during staff absence, trips and timetable changes, rather than treating the room itself as the solution.

They should also hear from Theo. Perhaps he likes the second school’s plan but worries that everyone will notice him leaving. That is a practical issue to work through with the school. It is not a reason to tell him he should simply be grateful for the help.

Ask about costs without assuming every adjustment is an extra

Request an itemised explanation of any proposed assessment, specialist teaching or outside service. If funding is involved, confirm whether it covers the proposed provision as well as tuition.

There is an important legal boundary. Section 20 of the Equality Act and EHRC’s guidance for English schools explain that schools cannot pass the cost of required reasonable adjustments to the disabled pupil or their parents. Not every additional service is necessarily such an adjustment; a disputed charge needs individual advice.

Latymer’s published policy illustrates why the detail matters. It describes parent-funded specialist or peripatetic lessons for long-term one-to-one programmes, such as speech and language therapy or ADHD coaching. In-school exam-access assessments are free. The policy also preserves the no-charge boundary for reasonable adjustments.

Stockport’s policy, linked above, likewise distinguishes additional services from reasonable adjustments for which no charge is made. Neither policy gives you an individual quotation. Ask the school to identify the basis and amount of any proposed charge before treating it as part of your budget.

A useful question is: “Which parts of this plan are included or provided as reasonable adjustments, and which are separately charged services?” A price list alone is not an answer about the legal basis of a charge. Our fees guide helps with the rest of the family budget.

Leave the meeting with a short, useful record

You do not need minutes of every conversation. Write down the child’s main needs, the agreed actions, the responsible person and the first review date. Keep unanswered questions visibly unanswered. “To be confirmed after assessment” is different from “agreed for September”.

For each action, add when it happens, whether anything is missed, any cost and how the child can ask for help. Then send a brief summary for correction through the school’s usual channel.

A fictional follow-up email

Thank you for discussing Amira’s transition with us. My understanding is that you are proposing [support], delivered by [role] at [time], with a review on [date]. Could you confirm whether this replaces a lesson and how any missed work would be covered?

We also have two points still open: [question] and [question]. Please let us know what can be confirmed before the acceptance deadline, and whether any part of the proposed plan is separately charged.

Adapt this to what was actually discussed. A parent’s email is not confirmation that the school has agreed. Keep the reply and any relevant formal documents; follow up if the wording leaves a consequential point unresolved.

Agree how you will know whether it is working

Choose a few concrete signs with the school and your child. Can they start the task with less prompting? Is homework manageable? Are they using the agreed help? Do they feel able to ask a question? These are discussion points, not a home-made diagnostic score.

Good grades do not answer everything. A pupil may be keeping up at the cost of an exhausting evening; another may feel much more settled before that improvement appears in marks.

If the plan is not working, separate three possibilities: the agreed help is not being delivered, it is being delivered but needs changing, or the school needs more information. Bring specific examples to the named coordinator and agree the next action and review. Seek appropriate professional advice for health or developmental concerns.