Three Sheep, Thirty Minutes, One Hand and Two Feet

The course was British Wool’s Blue Seal, the entry-level qualification, for which a novice must shear three sheep in thirty minutes under supervision. The school reported in June 2026 that three pupils had just completed the two-day course, ahead of a new BTEC in Countryside Management. One of them, sixteen, comes from the Falklands, which the school notes has 3,500 humans and 500,000 sheep. That is about 143 sheep each. Our house has five people and one head of hair that needs cutting, and we are understaffed.

He was hardly a beginner. He had spent every weekend and school holiday on a farm in the north of East Falkland, and had already sheared last sides alongside a farmer who once represented the islands on the shearing world stage. He took the course to learn proper technique before bad habits set in. Even so, the first day was tough on his back and energy, until some fine-tuning of his foot placement meant he was no longer fighting to keep the sheep still. The course taught him small tricks that are hard to pick up as a spectator, “despite having watched thousands of sheep be shorn”.

I have watched thousands of haircuts, from the chair, in the mirror, wearing the cape, for forty years. I have picked up none of the tricks either.

An eighteen-year-old on the same course describes the full sequence: flip the sheep, drag it out of the pen, shear it, put it back, all without losing control. None of the trainees was yet what she calls shearing fit, so the instructors had them work in pairs and switch after every sheep, which kept them going all day.

On Saturday I tried the pairs system on the youngest, who is eight and has opinions about the back. My husband held, I clipped, then we switched. Neither of us was shearing fit. The number 3 guard came off on the second pass, and I did not notice until the third, by which point the back had become a feature.

The Gordonstoun instructors and farmer said they would be proud to have a flock sheared to such a high standard. The Blue Seal is three sheep in thirty minutes. We took an hour and forty for one boy, and the fleece did not come off in one piece.

He went to school on Monday in a beanie. It was May.