Head for the Day: Hand Gel, Late Book, Ketchup

At Saint Christina’s, in September 2024, the head for the day shook hands with every family at the door, helped lead assembly and then went round the school on a health and safety check. His report of it is complete: “We had to move a table and tuck in some chairs.”

That is the whole of health and safety, and I have never seen it put better.

The rest of the post, by the same accounts: a strategy meeting with the real head, Mr Gloag, about what is good about the school and how to improve it, including a better way of fastening the badges, which sometimes fall off. Handing out the ketchup at KS1 lunch. At St Vincent’s, going round the classes and giving each teacher a piece of advice and then telling them what they did really well; walking Molly in Paddington Gardens, which was probably the funniest part; lasagne with runner beans; and a budget of £50, still being spent when she wrote up the day. A St Vincent’s deputy for the day in 2019 had spent the night before working out how to spend his budget fairly, and chose speed agility hurdles and two football-goal target sheets. He also had a quick break in the staff room, which is what I would have spent the budget on.

On Saturday our youngest, who is eight, was head of the house for the day. His rule was that everyone could sit where they wanted at dinner. He sat on the kitchen worktop. His health and safety check took four minutes: he moved the footstool and tucked in the chairs. My husband has been meaning to do it since February.

His budget was £5. He spent it on a squeezy bottle of ketchup and handed it out at dinner, one portion each, from the worktop, with the authority of office.

Then he did the staff. My husband was advised to stop singing in the car and praised for his toast. I was advised to talk less at breakfast and praised for being very good at finding things.

I have been in post for sixteen years, and that is my first appraisal. It is going on my CV.