Twenty-Four Parents, One S1 Timetable, No Uniform

Twenty-four adults with mortgages, lined up outside a classroom. I would pay to watch my husband do it.

Our eldest, who is in his first year of secondary, has one rule about me and his school: I do not come past the gate. I have read the Boroughmuir webzine four times.

The day went on. The parents were made to line up outside rooms and “asked to raise my hand to ask questions”. Maths was on a smartboard. In English and science they moved about and discussed things with classmates. In modern languages the multiple-choice test was done by holding up a card for the teacher’s iPad to scan, and the results appeared on the smartboard straight away, with every pupil’s name. Put me in that room: my name on a board, next to my answer, in front of twenty-three parents I would be standing beside at the gate for six years. I would have copied the woman next to me, and she would have copied me.

At the end, as the parents reviewed the day, the headmaster, Mr Dempster, excused himself so he could stand in the stairwell and be seen by the pupils going home. The writer noted that at their own school the only time they saw the headmaster was when they were in trouble.

In October 2017 twenty-three more S1 parents came, and the school printed a page of their feedback. Under “How can we improve this experience?”: “Warn us about the stairs!” Under “How did your son/daughter feel about you coming?”, a ladder of answers. A daughter who was excited and “loved showing me the canteen!” A child who was “Embarrassed but quietly chuffed!” An “Aw Dad”, with strict instructions not to embarrass him in front of his friends. A son who had encouraged a parent to come and then ignored them in the cafeteria for five or ten minutes before speaking. And at the top of the ladder, the finest sentence ever written on a school form: “Didn’t want me to—but I came!”

Yesterday I emailed our eldest’s school to suggest a Bring Your Parents to School Day. I have already filled in my feedback form.